The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
