there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
