My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
