I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
