just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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