had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
