we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
