Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
