I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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