scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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