i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
But we have bathrooms and they dont
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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