that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He felt like a one man threesome
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
