i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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