How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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