she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
