Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's the barista slut.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
