First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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