My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
