ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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