ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
