im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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