what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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