I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
