my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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