Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize