I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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