and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
