we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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