Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
