Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
