My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
