dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
