look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
