How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
