tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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