i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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