are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Randomize
