I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
