You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have aggressive nipples.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
