i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We named our party play list daddy issues
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize