its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
