Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize