Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize