Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
