My sheets look like a crime scene.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
