We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
