can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
