I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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