Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
