The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
