so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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