their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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