My room smells like vodka and shame
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
