no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
