pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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