those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
