Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I've blown a few things in my day
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Randomize
