I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You are a genius and a whore.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
