Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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